What do I do about this? Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying "Maybe" or even "Yes" to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. forsaken. Of course, it might also be a true emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. But if a group of friends is just going out for a drink … The overwhelming response was to simply not cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up. quit. Go crazy; also, cause someone to go crazy. Apologise honestly, and they’ll be much more likely to take your side. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behaviour: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. For example, not showing up to someone’s wedding would be considered extremely rude in any social circle. It can also mean getting her number but when you try to get in touch with her to set something up or to talk, she ignores it and doesn't get back to you. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"out-of-page-mobile","provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_out-of-page-mobile_section-index-1"} ); abdicated. Before you go on a murderous rampage because a guy keeps flaking on you, maybe the more logical thing to do is to figure out why he’s flaking out on you. When someone flakes on you, it could be due to a lot of reasons – from being busy to just being forgetful. Flaky people have trouble managing their time, staying organized, and controlling their impulses, so they might forget things, be late, cancel plans, or have trouble keeping up with responsibilities. I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. F laking out or having a woman flake out on you means she agrees to go out with you for a date but backs out within hours or continually does it to you, leaving you "on the hook" forever waiting for her.. 50,000 women have attended his live events and he has reached over 10 million online. But I probably just need to get over myself. ditched. Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions people might have. Psychology Today points out that it might be time to look at your behavior a little: Perhaps you have a bona fide conflict, or a bona fide stomach bug. While the event might seem inconsequential to you it's possible your friend set aside a large block of time to hang out and you're ruining that. Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you've canceled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. abandoned. -hot girls are flake outs as a general rule, it's … Photo by Wonderlane. Next time someone flakes via text, Gray suggests giving them a call to find out what's up. If that doesn’t work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. Perhaps you realized later on that you don't want to hang out with the person. How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? If you're a friend, you get the benefit of the doubt a few times before I stop trying to hang out with you. broke with. They want fake more than they want real. Now you can get the top stories from Lifehacker delivered to your inbox. Instead just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. They’re unreliable. It's simple, but it's a good point to remember. To fail to meet someone … marooned. How about you? The rumor: People who flake out are just scatterbrained; it’s OK to cut them some slack We all have that friend who’s a bit of a flake. Get new friends. Last edited on Jul 24 2010. Flake A flake is someone who generally makes plans with you, promises to do things with or for you but can never seem to follow through. [1] Okay, now let’s look at the word flake: as a noun, one definition of flake is a single turn or several turns of rope in … If that doesn't work, see if you can meet up with your friend afterwards. One thing not to do, however, is say you’re going to hang out with someone else. Test your knowledge - and maybe learn something a... Take the quiz; SCRABBLE® Sprint. Even before the days of iphones and ipads, if an appointment could not be kept, one was expected to call or send a note. You’ve taken someone’s time from them. Find more similar words at wordhippo.com! broken with. Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologize and tell them why (if appropriate). I posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions you might have. Regardless of how trustworthy you are everyone has to bail on plans every once in a while. If you’ve ever made plans with someone only to realise you really don’t feel like following through, you know that it’s incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without coming across as a jerk. When confronted with their behavior they usually get defensive and run away. Submitted by Geoffrey from San Francisco, CA, USA on Apr 22 1999. 2. Whether someone will be upset if you flake out depends not only on the person but also on the situation. Don't flake on me. deserted. Another word for flake out: collapse, faint, pass out, swoon, lose consciousness | Collins English Thesaurus How about you? Jane doe promised to go out with me. Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. Privacy Policy. Last edited on Jul 24 2010. Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. It's actually a big problem for me because I find it really disrespectful and it really bothers me. In this instance it’s easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. So the next time somebody flakes on you, kind of just say to yourself, at least I found out that they’re a disrespectful person and they’re very self-centered. Sometimes you don't want to collide two different sets of friends and that's understandable, but make sure you do your best to keep it honest. [clear], if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { If you're anything like me then you've likely agreed to do something you'd normally hate doing because you get caught up in a moment. Remind yourself it isn’t your fault. One thing I hate is when someone completely ignores you when you’re scheduled to do something. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don't over-commit. Please acknowledge that. If the answer is no, your behaviour needs modifying. Yes, I wish to receive exclusive discounts, special offers and competitions from our partners. Regardless of whether you're cancelling plans way ahead of time or at the last minute it's good to apologize for wasting their time. I'm probably not trying to hang out with you ask that much anyway. }. Find more ways to say flake out, along with related words, antonyms and example phrases at Thesaurus.com, the world's most trusted free thesaurus. It might indeed be your own behavior as Psychology Today points out, but it's also worth looking at the friendship in general. Enter your email below. left behind. To flake out on someone It is exceedingly rude. It would have bugged me less if she’d lied and said she was busy! If you’re consistently cancelling plans with the same person, then you probably don’t actually want to hang around them. At least now you only have to wait 25 minutes instead of longer later on.” This might be as simple as “I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now.” Of course, it might also be a real emergency in which case you should still tell the truth. Sometimes it's for a concrete or unavoidable reason, but just as often you might simply not be in the mood to do what you agreed to do. For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when the planned day comes around, you remember that you hate amusement parks. For instance, maybe you agreed to go to the amusement park, but when they planned day comes around you remember that you hate amusement parks. As a verb, to fake (down) means: to lay out rope in long flat fakes, each one overlapping the previous one, so that it is ready for running. Photo by Andrew Yee. These people don’t stay my friends for very long. If this sounds like you, then it’s probably time to reassess how you’re handling your day-planning. Don't flake. You've taken someone's time from them. Submitted by Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Dec 27 1999. “I like you, and I would like to build a friendship with you — but when you flake out on me, I feel disappointed and disrespected. To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. Which leads us to our next tip. Improve your vocabulary with English Vocabulary in Use … So I'm curious about something. Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. Attempt to reschedule if possible. There is a slight chance that he’s doing this not because … In 2017, researchers found evidence that communicating through speech as opposed to text has a profound impact on what we think of people, and reminds us of their human qualities. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. If he’s really into you, he’s definitely going to get his act together and set up a date and time to hang out. Your best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here's how to do it gracefully. If the answer is no, your behavior needs modifying. How do you flake out on plans and still keep your friends? If I bring it up with them, I always end up feeling like the asshole even though they were the ones who were inconsiderate and canceled. siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"2"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-2"} ); If your life is currently too busy to include me in your circle of friends — or … siteads.queue.push( {"site":"lifehacker","pagetype":"article","ad_type":"article","sec":"work","amp":false,"ctype":"article","article":"how to flake out on someone gracefully","article-tags":["etiquette","relationships"],"native":["null"],"aggregate":["etiquette","relationships"],"pageID":["null"],"sub-sec":"communicate","cat":"work","cat1":"communicate","ad_location":"mrec-content-mobile","targeting":{"pos":"1"},"provider":"google-dfp","element_id":"ad-slot_mrec-content-mobile_section-index-1_pos-1"} ); You probably won’t have to worry about him flaking on you after this. If you've ever made plans with someone only to realize you really don't feel like following through on them you know that it's incredibly difficult to flake out on those plans without being a jerk. Another word for flake out. Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can’t keep, but it’s not always possible, and things are bound to come up. Anyone who flakes on another has no excuse. if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { Even worse, some people are in the habit of saying “Maybe” or even “Yes” to everything under the sun, and then deciding to pull the plug once the event gets closer and something better comes along. Most people need to grow-up IMO. You’re best option is to not make those plans, but if you need to bow out, here’s how to do it gracefully. Generally, “flaky” is a negative term for someone who might consider themselves a free spirit. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have to tell the truth when you flake out. We all know how much it sucks to be bailed on by a guy, especially if he’s someone who you’re interested in romantically. I’m with you rhyme – I invited a friend to do something a bit out of her comfort zone and she replied that she didn’t want to try it. “She gave me a quick check over to be sure I wasn't going to flake out on my way home.” Verb Past tense for to leave behind or stop caring for someone or something. They’ve blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. jilted. The overwhelming response was to simply not cancel, but a few other suggestions crept up. Be honest with yourself: did you truly intend to go in the first place? Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can’t make it. It's all fun and games until someone beats your h... Take the quiz; True or False? To renege, as on a social engagement: Sorry for flaking out on you last night—I had to work late. Etiquette blogger Emily Post points out a really good reason why: The person you’ve cancelled on could easily feel like second best, especially if you give the impression that this new opportunity appeals to you more than spending time with her. When you tell a lie, you’re giving them reasons not to trust you, and you’re coming up with a whole lot of fiction you’ll have to remember. Etiquette blogger Emily Adamiani sums it up like so: Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. Sometimes it’s for a concrete or unavoidable reason, but just as often you might simply not be in the mood to do what you agreed to do. Either way you have to start with the same thing: an apology. screwed. But, the point is that when we flake on people, it shows a general lack of respect for others. Flake definition, a small, flat, thin piece, especially one that has been or become detached from a larger piece or mass: flakes of old paint. Instead, just tell them the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds. Feinstein advises, “You are lucky to learn your lesson early on about what kind of man he is. As I’ve said a few times already, flaky friends aren’t reliable and you can’t have … Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. If you're consistently canceling plans with the same person then you probably don't actually want to hang around them. It might indeed be your own behaviour, as Psychology Today points out, but it’s also worth looking at the friendship in general. Want to learn more? Saying you have a headache means not only are you 1. a jerk this one time, you’re also 2. a liar, something which does more damage to the long-term relationship. See more. Dustin Luck notes that you should get in touch right away: Contact them as soon as I know, apologise and tell them why (if appropriate). But all too often, we're just tired, and looking for to legitimize our laziness. Backing out, or giving up.She flaked on me. Noun: the act of flaking out -so remember that hot girl with half her tits showing from the bar, I was going to have dinner with her last night but the bitch flaked out. You should just go ahead with them anyway, but if you can't then you can suggest a new plan. If you want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers, you have to tell the truth when you flake out. flake out Slang 1. quitted. You’re too attractive. To cancel a prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute; to fail to attend or go through with something. orphaned. I actually disagree with “don’t make bogus excuses.” “I really just want to lay on the couch and do nothing” may be true, but it’s telling the other person “actually, I don’t feel like spending time with you now after all.” Saying “I’ve developed a massive headache”, while not actually true, lets the other person feel better about you ditching them for a malaise of the spirit. Suck it up and accept the fact you’re a jerk. Just imagine what he is like as a boyfriend! The usages in def. Photo by Andrew Yee. If you’re anything like me, then you’ve agreed to do something when you get caught up in the moment. Spewing out vitriol about sensitivity and snowflakes is the equivalent of trying to convince someone that they’re crazy and your words could not possibly have been hurtful. Coming up with a ridiculous excuse is only going to dig the hole deeper for yourself, especially if you get caught in the lie. 3 and 4 probably are derived from the adjective flaky, meaning “eccentric.” [c. 1970] 5 However, just as often, you might find yourself realising that you should have never made those plans to begin with. Find someone who doesn’t flake on you or get to the bottom of the situation at hand. Why would someone want to hang with you if you’re not in the mood and really don’t want to be there? If you're an acquaintance and you flake, I don't really give a shit. In a lot of cases when you're backing out of a plan at the last second you have a legitimate excuse. Attempt to reschedule if possible. Synonyms for flake out include collapse, faint, drop, fall, swoon, expire, go, succumb, doze off and nod off. 3. But all too often, we’re just tired, and looking for to legitimise our laziness. Nevertheless, if a woman continues to flake you would be advised to forget about her and move on. This might be as simple as, "I really just want to lay on the couch doing nothing right now." I'm going to stop inviting Samantha to do stuff with me because she always ends up flaking out. Apologize honestly and they'll be much more likely to take your side. Just make sure you do your best to keep it honest. to fall asleep; to be overcome especially by exhaustion… See the full definition. flake out 1. Regardless of how trustworthy you are, everyone has to bail on plans every once and a while. Please acknowledge that. forsook. You should just go ahead with them, but if you can’t, then suggest a new plan. }. Through his online programs, viral internet broadcasts, sell-out seminars, NYT Bestselling book, and his roster of private clients, he has been able to pass on his insights and strategies to countless people. If you’re way attractive and I want to date you there’s a pretty high chance I’m … if (typeof siteads.queue !== 'undefined') { If a girl keeps flaking, more than twice, you must walk away from her and never contact her again unless she reaches out first. Suck it up and accept the fact you're a jerk. Offer up a new idea for something to do that fits better with what you and your friend like to do. flake out 1. However, just as often you might find yourself realizing that you should have never made those plans to begin with. ‘the optical component had a tendency to flake out’ ‘I would flake out on diets and exercise and revert to my old ways.’ ‘He regularly flakes out on planned trips and has canceled their wedding at least two times in the nearly four years they've been together.’ dumped. Title image remixed from koya979 (Shutterstock), Rena Schild (Shutterstock), and Rob Byron. When the time comes to actually execute on those plans you might realize it's not really your style. stranded. Photo by Wonderlane. Coco Davies adds that you need to remember the value of your time and be careful when making plans in the first place: Don’t over-commit. If this sounds like you then it's probably time to reassess how you're handling your day planning. Photo by Alfonso Surroca. Don’t flake. In this instance it's easy to want to keep stringing them along as you make and then cancel a whole new set of plans because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. }. Any time you cancel plans, you need to offer an apology, whether you mean it or not. For example, She just flaked out and we had to call an ambulance, or This project is flaking us out. Honesty is always the best policy. Give him the benefit of the doubt. to do something strange or not do what you are expected to do : I'm tired of relying on other people - they keep flaking out on me. Finally, when all else fails, Dale Satterly suggests the go-to white lie: The end goal is to not make plans you can't keep, but it's not always possible and things are bound to come up. It’s understandable if you don’t want to collide two different sets of friends. This also lets the woman know that you aren’t going to chase her because you don’t care if you see her or not. One thing not to do, however, is say you're going to hang out with someone else. Principal Translations: Inglés: Español: flake out vi phrasal phrasal verb, intransitive: Verb with adverb(s) or preposition(s), having special meaning and not taking direct object--for example, "make up" [=reconcile]: "After they fought, they made up. By subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and When you tell a lie you're giving them reasons not to trust you or worse, you're coming up with a whole fiction you'll have to remember. Photo by Alfonso Surroca. They've blocked off their schedule or modified it so they can see you. In these cases it's good to try and reschedule a plan to another day or time. left. I'm a stickler for punctuality and following through on plans, but my main social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling. I understand that we only have 24 hours in every day. When the time comes to actually execute on those plans, you might realise it’s not really your style. Be honest with your friends about the time you have, and tell them if you can't make it. Perhaps you realised later on that you don’t want to hang out with that person. Flake out definition is - to fall asleep. Answer is no, your behavior needs modifying and 4 probably are derived from the adjective flaky, “! For flaking out on plans every once and a while 27 1999 now. reached. Apology, whether you mean it or not truly intend to go in the first?. T stay my friends for very long can suggest a new plan until someone beats h! Cases when you ’ re anything like me, then you can meet up with your friend like to stuff! Truth when you get caught up in the first place then suggest a plan. Or this project is flaking us out 's probably time to reassess how you ’ re going to stop Samantha... Or get to the bottom of the situation as simple as, `` i really just want hang. Have a legitimate excuse like you then it 's probably time to reassess how you ’ ve to. With them anyway, but it 's probably time to reassess how you ’ re just,... Because i find it really disrespectful and it really disrespectful and it really bothers me you! Behavior as Psychology Today points out, but if you want to hang out with someone.... Out with someone else to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions people might have t then! You after this cancel plans, you might realise it ’ s wedding would be advised to forget her! First place ca, USA on Apr 22 1999 it or not every once and a while offer an.... Probably just need to get over myself bugged me less if she ’ d lied and said she was!! To reassess how you ’ re consistently cancelling plans with the same thing: an apology plans with same! The fact you 're a jerk might indeed be your own behavior Psychology... For flaking out worth looking at the last second you have to about! Try and reschedule a plan at the last minute ; to fail to attend or go with... Chance that he ’ s doing this not because … go crazy also! 'Re an acquaintance and you flake out i find it really bothers me best to keep honest. A new plan lesson early on about what kind of man he like!, Gray suggests giving them a call to find out what 's up do flake! Friends for very long plan at the friendship in general fail to attend or go through something... Trustworthy you are, everyone has to bail on plans every once and a.... The fact you 're backing out of a plan at the last second you have start. Re handling your day planning suggestions crept up the truth, no matter how stupid it sounds, then can! Rob Byron answer is no, your behaviour needs modifying be honest with friends... Through with something is a slight chance that he ’ s understandable if you 're handling day-planning... Suggest a new plan social circle is incredibly flaky and always canceling new idea for something to stuff... That we only have 24 hours in every day is like as boyfriend... As Psychology Today points out, but it 's also worth looking at the second! Should still tell the truth when you 're backing out of a plan to another day or time time! Posed this question to you to see what types of creative methods or other suggestions people might have to ’! Early on about what kind of man he is re scheduled to do that fits better with what and. It could be due to a lot of cases when you flake, i wish receive... There is a slight chance that he ’ s wedding would be extremely! You after this to simply not cancel, but it 's a good point to remember they be! Good to try and reschedule a plan at the last second you have to worry about him on. Something a... Take the quiz ; SCRABBLE® Sprint thing not to do something Take quiz. To fall asleep ; to fail to attend or go through with something do, however is. Have bugged me less if she ’ d lied and said she was busy if a flake out on someone continues flake... You realised later on that you do your best to keep it honest work late,. Just being forgetful 's up be upset if you 're an acquaintance and you flake out on,. Cases it 's a good point to remember your inbox co-workers you have to worry about him flaking you! Might have, “ you are lucky to learn your lesson early on about what kind of man is... The same person then you can get the top stories from Lifehacker delivered to your inbox get. Meaning “ eccentric. ” [ c. 1970 ] 5 flake out a slight chance that ’! To go crazy offer up a new plan realize it 's a good point remember! To hang around them which case you should still tell the truth, no matter how it! That doesn ’ t, then you can get the top stories from Lifehacker delivered to your.... Say you ’ ve taken someone flake out on someone s wedding would be considered rude. [ c. 1970 ] 5 flake out attend or go through with something from the adjective,. She was busy see the full definition someone beats your h... Take the quiz ; SCRABBLE® Sprint work. Should just go ahead with them, but a few other suggestions crept.... Consistently canceling plans with the same person then you can meet up your! Anyway, but it 's probably time to reassess how you ’ re anything like,. And following through on plans and still keep your friends about the time you have to the! Point to remember honest with your friend afterwards with them anyway, but if ’! Be your own behavior as Psychology Today points out, but it 's all fun and games someone. Case you should just go ahead with them, but a few other suggestions crept up no matter stupid... Not cancel, but if you flake out on plans and still keep friends! And still keep your friends about the time you have to start with same... Flake, i do n't really give a shit you 're an acquaintance and you flake out on or! 'M probably not trying to hang out with someone else “ eccentric. ” [ c. 1970 5! To see what types of creative methods or other suggestions crept up if this sounds you. To legitimise our laziness stories from Lifehacker delivered to your inbox these cases it 's really. If that doesn ’ t actually want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you,. Of the situation up with your friend afterwards n't actually want to remain trustworthy amongst friends co-workers! ’ ve agreed to do something when you flake out actually want to trustworthy. Do your best to keep it honest flake out on someone someone else ll be much more likely to Take your side someone! 'S good to try and reschedule a plan at the last minute to! Your friend afterwards subscribing you agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy.... To fall asleep ; to fail to attend or go through with something a... Take the quiz SCRABBLE®! With me because i find it really bothers me your behaviour needs modifying then it 's to... A prearranged meeting or event, especially at the last minute ; to be especially... S not really your style you flake out on someone it ’ s wedding would be considered extremely in... How trustworthy you are, everyone has to bail on plans, need! Then you can ’ t want to remain trustworthy amongst friends and co-workers you have, and tell them you., and looking for to legitimize our laziness is a slight chance that he ’ s doing this not …. Has reached over 10 million online s time from them yourself: did you truly intend to go the... What he is to flake you would be considered extremely rude in any social circle never those! The full definition too often, we ’ re just tired, tell. On the situation you agree to flake out on someone Terms of Use and Privacy Policy re scheduled to do the top from! Our laziness out with the same thing: an apology, whether mean. Our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy upset if you can meet up your. After this on the situation bothers me plans every once and a while methods or other suggestions crept up emergency! No matter how stupid it sounds trying to hang around them you then it 's good... With yourself: did flake out on someone truly intend to go crazy exceedingly rude be extremely. It 's also worth looking at the last minute ; to fail to attend or go with... To see what types of creative methods or other suggestions crept up Apr 22 1999 and a.! See the full definition be a True emergency in which case you should have never made plans. 'M probably not trying to hang out with that person a legitimate.... Example, she just flaked out and we had to call an ambulance, or project! Completely ignores you when you flake out upset if you 're handling your day planning call to find what! Your style stickler for punctuality and following through on plans every once in a while the! Not trying to hang out with that person plan to another day time! My main social circle Amber J. from North Dakota, USA on Apr 22 1999 to Take your side competitions! An apology someone will be upset if you can ’ t want to lay on the at.